Never Make a Woman Angry

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven.  While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates and saw a beautiful banquet table.  Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her.  They saw her and began calling greetings to her, "Hello. How are you!   We've been waiting for you!  Good to see you."  

When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him,  "This is such a wonderful place!  How do I get in?"  

"You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.  

"Which word?" the woman asked.  

"Love."  

The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.  About a year later, Saint Peter came to the womanand asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.  While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.  

"I'm surprised to see you," the woman said.  "How have you been?"    

"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her.  "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill.  And then I won the multi-state lottery.  I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion.  And my wife and I traveled all around the world.  We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today.  I fell and hit my head, and here I am.  What a bummer!  How do I get in?"  

"You have to spell a word," the woman told him. 

"Which word?" her husband asked.

"Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosi", she replied.  

   

Moral of the story:  Never make a woman angry. . . there will be Hell to pay!  

NB: The longest word currently listed in the Oxford dictionary is the supposed lung-disease  

pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis (45 letters).

GOSSIP ?

Next time someone starts to spread gossip, think of this:     In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his   wisdom.     One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him  excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of   your students?"     Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass   a little test.It's called the Triple Filter Test."     "Triple filter?"     "That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my   student let's take a m! oment to filter what you're going to say. The   first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are   about to tell me is true?"     "No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and..."     "All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not.   Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are   about to tell me about my student something good?"     "No, on the contrary..."     "So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him,   even though you're not certain it's true?"     The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.     Socrates continued. "You may still pass the test though,because there is a  third filter - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about   my student going to be useful to me?"     "No, not really..."     "Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True   nor Good nor even Useful,! why tell it to me at all?"     The man was defeated and ashamed.     This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high   esteem.       It also explains why he never found out that Plato (his student) was   having an affair with his wife.       Moral: It's good to gossip sometimes!!! ... :-)

 

INTERESTING FACTS

Do you know that ........

In the 1400's , a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than this thumb.

Hence we have "the Rule of the Thumb "

Each King in a deck of playing cards represent a great king from history :

Spades - King David

Hearts - Charlemagne

Clubs - Alexander the Great

Diamonds - Julius Caesar

Men can real smaller print than women can ; women can hear better

Coco-Cola was orignally green

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled

'Gentlemen Only ...Ladies Forbidden '

and thus the word GOLF entered into the English Language.

It is impossible to lick your elbow

Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying

Each time you sneeze, some of your brain cells die

The Story of Mary Kay

Mary Kay Ash banged her head on the corporate glass ceiling one too many times. Working for several direct sales companies from the 1930's until the early 1960's, she achieved considerable success. She climbed the corporate ladder to become the sole woman on the board of directors of the World Gift Company - quite an accomplishment for a woman in the 1950's.

But life wasn't rosy at the top. Even though Mary Kay had the title and the track record, she was not taken seriously by her male peers. In board meetings, her opinions and suggestions were ignored, dismissed, or even ridiculed. Male board members minced no words in their judgment - pronouncing her guilty of "thinking like a woman."

Since the sales force was almost entirely female, Mary Kay thought that thinking like a woman was an asset. But her fellow board members disagreed. Finally, in frustration, she retired in 1963, intending to write a book to assist women in the male-dominated business.

Sitting at her kitchen table, she made two lists: one list was all the good things she had seen in the companies where she'd worked, and the other list was all the things she thought could be improved. As she re-read her lists, she realized that what she had in front of her was a marketing plan for her ideal company. In just four weeks, her "book" had become a business plan, and her retirement was over.

Both her accountant and her attorney did their best to discourage her, warning that she would be throwing her money away on this venture. But Mary Kay had heard enough male nay-saying in her corporate years - she ignored her advisors.

Her husband, unlike her accountant and attorney, was very supportive. With his help, Mary Kay developed the cosmetic products, designed packaging, wrote promotional materials and recruited and trained her female sales force.

Then the unthinkable happened; her husband of twenty-one years died of a heart attack. Another woman might have dropped her plans, or at least delayed them, but Mary Kay was a strong Texas woman. She stayed on track with the help of her twenty-year-old son, Richard Rogers and rolled out her new business in September of 1963.

Beginning with a storefront in Dallas and an investment of $5,000, Mary Kay Cosmetics earned close to $200,000 in its first year - quadrupling that amount in its second year. When Mary Kay took her company public in 1968, sales had climbed to more than $10 million.

Mary Kay's unusual corporate motto, "God first, family second, career third," was unconventional, to say the least. But she understood the need for women to have balance in their lives, and she was committed to providing unlimited opportunity for women's financial AND personal success.

Mary Kay authored three books, all of which became best-sellers. Her business model is taught at the Harvard Business School. She received many honors, including the Horatio Alger Award. Fortune magazine has named Mary Kay Cosmetics as one of the Ten Best Companies for Women, as well as one of The 100 Best Companies to Work for in America.

At the time of her death in 2001, Mary Kay Cosmetics had 800,000 independent beauty consultants in 37 countries, with total annual sales of over two billion dollars. Never underestimate the power of a woman with a mission!

I cdnuolt bleveiee tihs

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh?

WHAT A TRUE MALAYSIAN SHOULD KNOW :

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR HAIR LOSS:
Ajinomoto

NATIONAL INSTANT FOOD :
Maggi Mee

NATIONAL BREAKFAST :
Nasi Lemak

NATIONAL LUNCH :
Nasi Ayam

NATIONAL SUPPER :
Roti Canai & Teh Tarik

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE:
Traffic Jam

NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION :
Pineapple

NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK:
Stout. Many Malaysian men swear by it. But then after
a few pints they start swearing at everything.. .

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN):
Food Poisoning

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN):
Menstrual Pain


NATIONAL CURE FOR DIARRHOEA :
Cap Kaki Tiga.

NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES:
Panadol.

NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS:
Minyak Angin Cap Kapak.

NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
Happy Hours.

NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
The sight of a police road block.

NATIONAL RICE COOKER :
NATIONAL Rice Cooker

NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP:
Anywhere. As long as it is not your house.

NATIONAL MOST MIS-PRONOUNCED NAME:
Carrefour.

NATIONAL ANSWER FOR 'WHERE ARE YOU?'
-on the way.

NATIONAL OFFICIAL TIME FOR BEING LATE
-10 minutes

NATIONAL REASON FOR PRICE INCREASE
Petrol naik

NATIONAL REASON FOR PETROL INCREASE
Still cheaper than other country

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR CAUSING TRAFFIC JAM:
there was accident on the other side of the road

NATIONAL REASON WHEN REJECTING INVITATION :
'I got some work to do..u all go first'

NATIONAL REASON FOR COLLAPSED BUILDINGS & LEAKY PARLIAMENT ROOFS:
An act of God.

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR IRRESPONSIBLE POLITICAL STATEMENTS:
None. We were misquoted.

NATIONAL MINISTERIAL REASON FOR INCREASING TOLL RATES:
Lu ingat ini jalan saya punya bapak punya kah?

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR JUMPING QUEUE:
everybody jumping what!

NATIONAL EXCUSE NOT PAYING SUMMON ACCORDING TO DUE DATE:
government will give discount one of these days

NATIONAL EXCUSE TO BRIBE:
minum kopi

WHY , WHY , WHY ?????

Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Why do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage.

Why do we buy hamburgers in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight..

EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavouring, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? But the wool'sclothings needs to be drycleaned?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?