Pay Attention

First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet school were attending their first Anatomy class, with a dead pig.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a White sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, 'In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a Doctor:

The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the Animal body'. For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, Stuck his finger in the nose of the dead pig, withdrew it and stuck his Finger in his mouth. 'Go ahead and do the same thing,' he told his Students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. But eventually took turns sticking a finger in the nose of the dead pig And sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, 'The Second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle Finger and sucked on my index finger.

Now learn to pay attention !


Expose Hidden Secrets of the Human Body ! Click Here!

Unique Christmas Trees

Merry Christmas ! One of the best things we love about the season is putting up the Christmas Tree! Not only are we proud of our own trees, we oggle and admire all those creative Trees found around town. Below are some special trees ........

World's most expensive Trees

The dazzling 24k gold tree, decorated with more than 240 jewels including diamond baubles and strings of pearls.

It weighs more than 21 kilograms and is worth 150million yen - or £1million.

Made by a Singapore jeweller , this magnificent tree is encrusted with 21,798 glittering diamonds totaling 913 carats, 3,762 crystal beads and is decorated with 456 lights. With a height of 6 meters and weighing at 3,215 kg, it is worth US $1,005,000.

World Biggest Tree
A Christmas tree lighting ceremony was held in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil on Nov 26. According to Guinness World Records, the 82-meter-tall tree decorated with 2.8 million colorful bulbs is the biggest one in the world.








OTHER UNUSUAL TREES

Beer Bottle Tree - made from beer bottles.

Shelf Tree - creatively made from books and magazines

Aluminium Tree
made from non-corrosive high quality aluminium foil.

Ribbon Tree

Morning Dew can Tree

Chinese Bamboo Tree
Wire Tree
Lego Tree
Crocheted Tree
Upside Down Tree to save space
Floating Christmas Tree
Placed at Rodrigo de Freitas Lagoon. It weights 530 tons, has 85m and 2.9 million lights. It keeps getting bigger every year. From Dec 1st to Jan 6th, every night after dark the lights sparkle and change colours constantly. Every 30 min there is a "water ballet".

British English Vs Malaysian English

Many foreigners are amazed at the way Malaysians speak English. We had been accused of eating our words , butchering the language , Malaysianising it ( to Manglish ? ) but Malaysians are actually proud of their "creative" English, claiming it to be simple, short, concise, straight-to-the-point, effective etc.

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS

Britons: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.

Malaysians: No stock.

RETURNING A CALL


Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone call for me a few moments ago?

Malaysians: Hello, who call?


ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY


Britons: Excuse me, I would like to get by. Would you please make way?

Malaysians: S-kew me.

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY


Britons: Hey! Put your wallet away, this drink is on me..

Malaysians: No need lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION


Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?

Malaysians: (pointing at the door) Can ah?


WHEN ENTERTAINING


Britons: Please make yourself right at home.

Malaysians: No need shy shy one lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE


Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.

Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER


Britons: I would prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.

Malaysians: Don't want lah.

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION


Britons: Err...Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.

Malaysians: You mad ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.


Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice? I'm trying to concentrate over here.

Malaysians: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.


Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for sometime. Do I know you?

Malaysians: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.


Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.

Malaysians: Die lah!!


WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED


Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?

Malaysians: What happened ah? Why like that one lah?

WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG


Britons: This isn't the way to do it. Here, let me show you.

Malaysians: Like that also don't know how to do!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY


Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me?

Malaysians: Celaka you!

MOO ECONOMICS

TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS

You have 2 cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income.


CHINESE ECONOMICS

You have 2 cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment,
high bovine productivity and
arrest anyone reporting actual numbers.


INDIAN ECONOMICS

You have 2 cows. You worship them.


PAKISTANI ECONOMICS

You don't have any cows.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
You ask
the US for financial aid,
China for military aid,
Britain for warplanes,
Italy for machines,
Germany for technology,
France for submarines,
Switzerland for loans,
Russia for drugs and
Japan for equipment.
You buy the cows with this and claim exploitation by the world.



AMERICAN ECONOMICS

You have 2 cows.
You sell one and force the other
to produce the milk of 4 cows.
You profess surprise when the cow drops dead.
You put the blame on some nation with cows
and naturally that nation will be a danger to mankind.
You wage a war to save the world and grab the cows.


FRENCH ECONOMICS

You have 2 cows.
You go on strike because you want 3 cows.

GERMAN ECONOMICS

You have 2 cows.
You reengineer them so that they live for 100 years,
eat once a month and milk themselves.


BRITISH ECONOMICS

You have 2 cows.
They are both mad.

ITALIAN ECONOMICS


You have 2 cows.
You don't know where they are.
They break for lunch.


SWISS ECONOMICS

You have 5,000 cows,
none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.


JAPANESE ECONOMICS

You have 2 cows.
you redesign them so that
they are one-tenth the size
of an ordinary cow and
produce 20 times the milk.
You then create cute cartoon cow images
called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.

Bra Codes

AND, just a thought for all the women out there........

MENtal illness,
MENstrual cramps,
MENtal breakdown,
MENopause............

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men?.........And

When we have real trouble it's HISterectomy!!!!




A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...
Hard to Find
Supportive
Comfortable
Always Lifts You Up
Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging
And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!

STUD ROOSTER

A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop.

The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,

'OK old fart, time for you to retire.'

The old rooster replies,

'Come on, surely you cannot handle
ALL of these chickens.
Look what it has done to me.
Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?'

The young rooster says,
'Beat it: You are washed up
and I am taking over.'

The old rooster says,
'I tell you what, young stud.
I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.'

The young rooster laughs.
'You know you don't stand a chance, old man.
So, just to be fair,
I will give you a head start.'

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.

He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch
when he sees the roosters running by.
The Old Rooster is squalking
and running as hard as he can.
The Farmer grabs his shotgun and
- BOOM -
he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says,
'Dammit.....
third gay rooster I bought this month.'

Moral of this
story? .

Don't mess with the OLD FARTS -
age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery

always overcome youth and arrogance!



INTERESTING FACTS

Interesting Facts:

1. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."

2. "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt" 3. Almonds are members of the peach family.

4. The symbol on the "pound" key (#) is called an octothorpe.

5. The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle.
6. Ingrown toenails are hereditary.

7. The word "set" has more definitions than any other word in the English language.

8. "Underground" is the only word in the English language that begins and ends with the letters "und."

9. There are only four words in the English language which end in "-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

10. The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
11. The only other word with the same amount of letters is its plural: pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosesl.
12. The longest place-name still in use is Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwe-nuakit natahu, a New Zealand hill.

13. Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reinade los Angeles de Porciuncula" and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size, L.A.
14. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

15. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
16. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button. It was eliminated when he was sewn up after surgery.

17. Telly Savalas and Louis Armstrong died on their birthdays.
18. Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy.

19. The muzzle of a lion is like a fingerprint - no two lions have the same pattern of whiskers.

21. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

23. There is a seven-letter word in the English language that contains ten words without rearranging any of its letters, "therein": the,there, he, in, rein, her, here, ere, therein, herein. 24. Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors. 26. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
27. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

28. Cranberries are sorted for ripeness by bouncing them; a fully ripened cranberry can be dribbled like a basketball.

30. The letters KGB stand for Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti

31. 'Stewardesses' is the longest English word that is typed with only the left hand.

33. The combination "ough" can be pronounced in nine different ways; the following sentence contains them all: "A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed."

34. The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.

35. Facetious and abstemious contain all the vowels in the correct order, as does arsenious, meaning "containing arsenic."

36. Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are on the Australian seal for that reason.
37. Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.

38. The word "Checkmate" in chess comes from the Persian phrase "Shah Mat," which means "the king is dead."

39. The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases

Chicken Talk !

Why did the chicken cross the road?



BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MCCAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because it recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.


HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......


GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing the road together, in peace.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% .......... reboot.


BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
Chicken shall not shit while crossing the road. This is for a green environment.

LEE KUAN YEW:
We have installed crossing lights at all traffic junctions. All chickens should follow instructions while crossing the road.


SAMY VELLU:
Gantry points have been set up. All chickens wanting to cross the road are advised to top up their cash cards first.

NAJIB RAZAK:
What chickens? I don't know any chickens... especially those from Mongolia.

ABDULLAH BADAWI:
We have to be fair to all chickens. Some want to cross over the road, some do not. ........ Zzzzzz .......zzzzzz ....... Now what were we talking about? Ah yes, chickens. We will form a Royal Commission to decide whether it is right for them to cross the road.

MAHATHIR:
Now even non-bumi chickens want to cross the road! How can they disrespect and disregard apa nama bumi chickens? We must be allowed to cross over first. It is our special privilege and no one can challenge that!

ANWAR:
We have enough chickens waiting to cross over in September.

SHAHRIR:
All foreign chickens are welcome in Malaysia but they must not cross over the road within 50km of the border.